Book Now

Category: Body Acceptance

  • Why Do I Keep Going Back to Dieting? 5 Real Reasons (and What Helps)

    Why Do I Keep Going Back to Dieting? 5 Real Reasons (and What Helps)

    TL;DR: You keep going back to dieting because a diet offers a plan, certainty, and hope at the exact moment weight fear, social pressure, or a rough week hits. It’s not weak willpower. It’s a learned habit with real triggers. You stop by spotting your trigger, asking what you actually want underneath the diet, and replacing the structure diets gave you with gentle boundaries that aren’t rules.

    Why do I keep going back to dieting? If you’ve asked yourself that, you’re in good company.

    A follower told me, “I’ve tried quitting dieting several times in the last few years, but I keep going back to it.” Another said, “Every week I think I’ll start Monday.” Sound familiar?

    Here’s where I’m coming from. I started dieting at 19 and kept at it for about 15 years. Calorie counting hooked me the most, and at one point I became a Beachbody coach, which was basically a weight-loss coach lol. So I know the pull. I felt it again last year, and I wrote about that whole story here.

    This post is about why the pull keeps happening and what actually helps you stop. It’s not about you being weak or doing it wrong.

    Is Going Back To Dieting a Willpower Problem?

    TL;DR: No. Going back to dieting is a habit built on years of hearing that your body is a problem to fix. Diets also work for a while, which keeps you coming back. Willpower isn’t the missing piece.

    Let’s be real. Diets often do something in the short term. The scale moves, you get compliments, and you feel in control.

    Then the weight comes back, because it usually does. Research on long-term weight loss shows most people regain it, and I break that down in another post. So the diet “failed,” and somehow we blame ourselves instead of the diet.

    That’s the loop. A short win, a regain, a bit of shame, and then the next plan looks like the answer. Of course, you keep going back.

    Why Do I Keep Going Back To Dieting? 5 Real Reasons.

    TL;DR: The most common triggers are weight going up, seeing someone else lose weight, the “start Monday” loop, believing life would be better in a smaller body, and missing the structure diets gave you. Naming yours is the first step.

    1. Your Weight Goes Up and the Fear Kicks In

    Weight creeping up can feel like an emergency. Some of the people I talk to are scared to buy the next size up in clothes, as if buying them makes it permanent.

    That fear is what pushes people straight back to a diet. The panic feels urgent, and a plan feels like relief.

    2. You See Someone Else Losing Weight

    Social media, coworkers, and now GLP-1 before-and-after photos all say the same thing. Losing weight gets applause.

    A follower told me she’s made peace with food and her body, but the world’s reaction to weight loss still bothers her. It’s hard to feel settled when everyone around you is being cheered for shrinking.

    3. The “Start Monday” Loop

    “I’ll start Monday” gives you a reason to eat everything today. Then Monday comes, you try to be perfect, and it falls apart by Wednesday.

    Then the all-or-nothing thinking shows up. The whole week feels ruined, so you wait for the next Monday. I lived in this loop for years.

    4. You Think Life Would Be Better in a Smaller Body

    People have told me they’d have more energy, more confidence, even a better shot at a partner if they were slimmer. Those are real wants.

    Weight loss isn’t a guaranteed route to any of them, though. Diets quietly attach a lot of hope to a number on the scale. If you want to dig into that, this post on what to ask yourself when you feel like you need to lose weight is a good place to start.

    5. You Never Replaced What Dieting Gave You

    This one gets missed. Dieting gives you a plan, rules, and a clear answer when you’re second-guessing yourself.

    Without it, you’re left asking, “Is this the right food? Too much? Too little?” That kind of constant doubt is exhausting. Of course, a rulebook starts to look tempting again.

    Graphic listing 5 reasons why do I keep going back to dieting: weight fear, seeing others lose weight, the start Monday loop, believing smaller is better, and missing structure

    Why Does Quitting Dieting Feel Like Giving Up?

    TL;DR: After years of diet culture, quitting a diet feels like quitting on yourself. But stopping a method that keeps failing isn’t giving up. It’s looking for something that works for you.

    Another follower asked whether she should “go back to weighing everything and not ‘give up’ on dieting.” That phrase, give up, tells you a lot.

    We’re taught that being on a diet means we’re trying and being off one means we’ve stopped caring. That’s diet culture talking.

    If you’ve tried the same approach over and over and keep ending up in the same place, the issue isn’t that you quit. The method has a built-in revolving door.

    What Actually Helps You Stop Going Back To Dieting?

    TL;DR: Spot your trigger, ask what you actually want underneath the diet, keep gentle structure that isn’t a rulebook, stop mentally restricting, and wear clothes that fit now. Support makes it much easier.

    1. Spot Your Trigger Before You Act

    The next time you feel the pull, pause and ask what just happened. Did your jeans feel tight? Did you scroll past a transformation post? Was it Sunday night?

    You don’t have to fix it right then. Noticing is the whole job for now.

    2. Ask What You Actually Want Underneath the Diet

    When I got pulled toward a GLP-1, I asked myself what I really wanted. It turned out I was stiff, tired, and uncomfortable in my clothes, and none of that needed weight loss to address.

    Try it yourself. What do you believe losing weight would change for you? Is there a way to take care of that need directly? If you want the full story, it’s here.

    3. Keep Gentle Structure That Isn’t a Diet

    Some of us need structure, and that’s okay. The difference is between a boundary and a rule.

    A boundary sounds like “I eat breakfast because I feel better when I do.” A rule sounds like “I can’t eat after 7pm.” Boundaries care for you. Rules punish you when you slip. If you’re not sure which is which, this checklist will help you spot a diet in disguise.

    4. Stop Restricting in Your Head

    Even if you’re not officially dieting, “I shouldn’t eat that” still counts as restriction. It also feeds the binge cycle that makes people run back to a diet. I explain how that works in How to Stop Binge Eating.

    5. Buy Clothes That Fit Your Body Now

    Waiting to shrink before buying clothes keeps you stuck in the “next size up” fear. Clothes that fit comfortably aren’t giving up. They’re basic care for the body you’re in today. I buy most of mine second hand, so it doesn’t have to be expensive.

    6. Do It With Support

    Most people who keep going back to dieting are trying to quit alone, with no plan for the hard moments. That’s like quitting something while everyone around you keeps offering it.

    Support turns the next Monday from a crisis into something you can handle.

    How Do I Stop Going Back To Dieting For Good?

    TL;DR: You stop by learning to work with food noise, hunger, and your own cues instead of fighting them. That takes time and support. The Food Noise ResetTM is my 8-week program built for exactly that.

    If the same triggers keep pulling you back, you don’t need another plan. You need a way to quiet the food noise, handle the hard moments, and make peace with your body without a rulebook.

    That’s what The Food Noise ResetTM is for. It’s 8 weekly lessons, delivered by email, and each one takes about 30 to 45 minutes along with the exercises. There’s also a body acceptance module. Women who are on a GLP-1 are welcome too.

    Join the Food Noise ResetTM waitlist here.

    Not ready for that yet? Start with my free 5-Minute Emotional Eating Check-In Workbook. It helps you notice what’s really going on before you reach for a diet or for food. Download the free workbook here.

    And if you’d rather work 1-on-1, here’s how coaching works.

    FAQ: Why Do I Keep Going Back to Dieting?

    Why do I keep going back to dieting even though it never works long term?

    Diets give quick results, certainty, and a sense of control, so they feel like the answer each time. Then the weight returns and the cycle restarts. It’s a habit with real triggers, not a flaw in you.

    Is going back to dieting a sign I can’t do intuitive eating?

    No. Plenty of people go back and forth while they unlearn diet culture. Each return is a chance to notice your trigger and respond differently.

    How do I stop the “I’ll start Monday” cycle?

    Start by noticing that “Monday” is a rule you’re setting for later. Eat in a way that cares for you today, and drop the all-or-nothing idea that one off day ruins the week.

    What if I’m scared of gaining weight if I stop dieting?

    That fear is very common, and I won’t pretend your weight can’t change. What I can say is that fear-based restriction tends to lead to the binge cycle. Working on your food and body relationship gives you more steady footing than another diet does.

    Can I stop dieting if I’m on a GLP-1?

    Yes. Being on a GLP-1 doesn’t mean you have to follow diet rules. If you’ve stopped one and eating feels intense, I wrote about binge eating after stopping a GLP-1 too. Questions about medication are for you and your prescriber.

    Want more real talk on ditching diet culture for good? Come follow along on Instagram @laraslosingit!

  • What If I Feel Like I NEED To Lose Weight? (An Intuitive Eating Coach’s Take)

    What If I Feel Like I NEED To Lose Weight? (An Intuitive Eating Coach’s Take)

    TL;DR: If you feel like you need to lose weight, start by asking what you’re actually hoping to fix. Then address that directly (health, comfort, pain relief) through behaviours, not the scale. Weight loss isn’t a behaviour; it rarely lasts in the long term, and you don’t need to know your weight to feel better.

    I wanted to address one concern that comes up A LOT for people on the journey towards becoming an Intuitive Eater: what if I feel like I need to lose weight?

    Some people feel that way after a doctor tells them they need to lose weight. Others feel this way because they’ve recently gained weight and they’re more uncomfortable now than they were when they were smaller, or they’re dealing with a health concern and/or physical pain that they feel losing weight would help with.

    If you’ve recently gained weight, remind yourself that while, sure, your new larger body may feel different than it did when it was smaller, different is not necessarily bad or uncomfortable. Be aware of how you’re labelling your feelings in that regard.

    Quote card reading 'Different is not automatically bad' - intuitive eating mindset shift

    So if this is something you’re navigating, here are the three questions I always come back to with my coaching clients when the urge to lose weight shows up.

    Table of Contents

      Question 1: What Am I Really Hoping Weight Loss Will Give Me?

      TL;DR: Improved health and comfort don’t need you to know your weight. Nutrient-rich food, movement that feels good, good sleep, and self-care get you there. Dealing with joint pain? Strengthen the muscles around it, instead of trying to lose weight.

      The first thing to ask yourself if you feel this way is: what are you really hoping to gain from weight loss? On the surface, you may think it’s about improved health or comfort, but you can improve your health and comfort without ever knowing how much you weigh.

      Weight loss is not a behaviour. You can do things like eat more nutrient-rich foods, move your body in ways that feel good on a regular basis, prioritize good sleep, practice self-care, etc, etc.- all of these things are health-promoting behaviours, and none of them have anything to do with what you weigh.

      If you’re dealing with physical pain like joint pain, the best thing to do for that is to strengthen the muscles that connect to that joint. Visit a physical therapist if you can. Google “how to strengthen knees” or “how to alleviate knee pain” and you will find a lot of suggestions! Once again, you can work towards this without even knowing how much you weigh.

      Question 2: What Would a Thin Person Do About This?

      TL;DR: No health condition exists only in larger bodies – so ask what a thin person with the same issue would do, then do that! It’s the root cause that needs fixing, not your weight.

      The second thing to ask yourself is – what would a thin person do about this particular issue or discomfort? Remember that no health condition exists solely in larger-bodied people. There just isn’t. So any health condition or physical pain that you’re dealing with right now – there are thin people out there who deal with and have dealt with that same thing.

      So what is something that they would do? We covered some of this in question #1, but ultimately it comes down to actually addressing the cause of the problem and working to help that. Once again, your weight in and of itself is not causing anything.

      Graphic explaining that addressing the root cause, not weight, resolves most health concerns

      Question 3: What Happened Last Time I Tried?

      TL;DR: Intentional weight loss almost never sticks long-term. A well-known meta-analysis tracked people for 5 years after weight loss and found that the average person had regained nearly 80% of what they’d lost! So treating a health or comfort issue with weight loss is usually just a temporary fix.

      Third – remind yourself of your previous attempts to lose weight and how they ended up in the long run. Contrary to what diet culture will try to tell you, your experience with gaining back weight that you previously lost is not unique. A meta-analysis that tracked people for years after intentional weight loss found that, on average, only 21% of the weight lost was still off at the 5-year mark, meaning the average person had regained close to 80% of what they’d lost. Remind yourself that intentional weight loss is one of the strongest predictors of future weight gain, so trying to treat anything by losing weight tends to be a temporary fix at best.

      You Deserve to Feel Comfortable Right Now

      TL;DR: Comfort doesn’t have to wait on weight loss! Well-fitting clothes you feel good in (even second-hand finds!) can fix that today. You deserve to feel comfortable no matter what the scale says.

      Ultimately, remember that you do deserve to be comfortable! If your clothes aren’t fitting very well, get some new ones that are comfortable and look good! If you can’t afford new clothes, don’t be afraid to shop second hand – I personally buy most of my clothes second hand, and it is amazing what you can find!

      Lara Curry, Intuitive Eating Coach, wearing a comfortable second-hand outfit she feels confident in

      Your weight is not a problem that needs to be fixed. Society’s views of higher weights and larger bodies is the problem that needs to be fixed!

      FAQ: Weight Loss, Health, and Intuitive Eating

      What if my doctor says I need to lose weight?

      Ask your doctor exactly which health marker they’re worried about, then ask what you can do about it directly! Most of the time there’s a behaviour you can work on (movement, sleep, nutrition, stress) that has nothing to do with the number on the scale.

      Can I be healthy without losing weight?

      Yes! Health comes from behaviours – how you eat, move, sleep, and handle stress – not a number on a scale. People with larger bodies have the same health outcomes as people with smaller bodies, and the same goes the other way.

      Is it true that most people gain back the weight they lose?

      Yes, most of it tends to come back over time. A meta-analysis of nearly 30 studies found that people maintained only about 23% of their initial weight loss on average 4 to 5 years later. That’s exactly why an intuitive eating, non-diet approach focuses on behaviours instead of the scale.

      What should I do about joint pain or physical discomfort instead of trying to lose weight?

      Go after the actual cause! For joint pain, that usually means strengthening the muscles around the joint (a physical therapist is amazing for this). Addressing the root of it works better and faster than weight loss ever would.

      One Last Thing…

      Let me know if this helped you at all! And if you’re not sure where you land with all of this, take my free Food Freedom Quiz to find out what’s really keeping you stuck.

    • Is Intuitive Eating Reserved for Thin People?

      I’ve noticed something about the intuitive eating space: the majority of intuitive eating coaches, nutritionists and dietitians I see working in this space are thin people. I just don’t see very many plus-size people doing this work.


      And it got me thinking about the message that sends.


      It can almost make it seem like intuitive eating is reserved for thin people. Like if you’re plus-size, or you naturally live in a bigger body, you can’t really be an intuitive eater, and you certainly can’t be an intuitive eating coach.


      There’s another message underneath that too: if you’ve really healed your relationship with food, found food freedom and become a fully intuitive eater, then eventually you’ll be thin.


      But that’s just not true.


      I’m plus size. I’ve been an intuitive eater for quite a number of years now. I haven’t dieted in a very long time. I’m in a really good place with my relationship with food and my body, and I eat mainly in a way that feels good and leaves me feeling good and energized.


      And I’m still plus size.


      I also think there are parts of intuitive eating that can be significantly more difficult when you live in a bigger body — especially rejecting the diet mentality and giving up the pursuit of weight loss.


      Because there is an immense amount of pressure put on plus-size people to lose weight.

      Constantly.


      It comes from society at large, social media, health and fitness messaging, and sometimes from people in our actual lives. If your body looks a certain way or you have a certain amount of body fat, the message is that you should be doing something about it. You should be losing weight. You should be “recomping.” You should be burning body fat.


      Naturally thin people simply don’t experience that particular pressure in the same way. So yes, I think rejecting the diet mentality can look very different when you’re doing it in a body that the world is constantly telling you should be smaller.


      There’s another part of my experience with intuitive eating that I don’t think gets talked about enough either.


      For me, intuitive eating still requires intention and mindfulness around food.


      I used to think that eventually I would get to this magical place where I wouldn’t really have to think about what I ate at all. I’d just eat whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted it, and somehow everything would naturally balance itself out.


      That’s kind of what I thought I was being sold when I first found intuitive eating.


      But that hasn’t been my experience.


      If I walk into a restaurant and look at a salad and a burger, let’s be real: I’m probably going to want the burger. I naturally gravitate toward highly palatable foods — burgers, pizza, chips, popcorn, cookies, fries. I like those foods. A lot.


      That doesn’t mean I can’t be an intuitive eater.


      It means that sometimes I bring a little more intention into the decision. I might ask myself: How is this meal going to make me feel later? How have I eaten today? Have I had many vegetables? Would adding some vegetables to dinner help me feel better? What actually sounds satisfying, and what is going to leave me feeling good afterward?


      That isn’t dieting. It isn’t food rules. And it isn’t trying to force myself to always choose the salad.


      It’s part of taking care of myself.

      Grab your FREE 5-minute Emotional Eating Check-In Guide here!


      Because if I give absolutely no thought to how I’m eating for a while, I know myself. I’m probably going to gravitate toward those highly palatable foods more often, and eventually I don’t feel very good physically.


      And I don’t think I’m the only person like this.


      I’m also not saying this is true of every plus-size person, just like I’m not saying every thin person naturally prefers salads and vegetables. Body size doesn’t tell us what somebody eats, what foods they prefer or what their relationship with food looks like.


      I’m talking about people like me… people who have a healthy appetite, genuinely love highly palatable foods, and don’t naturally find that every food decision magically “balances out” without any thought at all.


      Those people belong in intuitive eating too.


      Because intuitive eating is so often reduced to: “Eat when you’re hungry and stop when you’re full.”


      But those are basically two pieces of a ten-principle framework.


      There’s also satisfaction. There’s respecting your body. There’s movement. There’s gentle nutrition. There’s learning how different foods actually make you feel. There’s paying attention. There’s intention.


      And for me, that last part matters.


      The biggest difference since becoming an intuitive eater isn’t that I suddenly stopped loving pizza, burgers, chips or cookies. I didn’t.
      The difference is that I don’t tend to binge on them anymore.


      Do I occasionally eat past comfortable fullness because something is delicious and I want more of it? Absolutely. Sometimes highly palatable food is genuinely hard to stop eating.


      But I don’t have those out-of-body binge experiences I used to have when I was deep in dieting. Food doesn’t have that same power over me anymore.


      So maybe this is the part of intuitive eating we need to talk about more.


      You can have food freedom and still think about nutrition. You can eat intuitively and still be intentional about your choices. You can love burgers more than salads and still learn to eat in a way that makes your body feel good.


      And most importantly, you can become an intuitive eater, heal your relationship with food, reject dieting, and still be plus size.


      Thinness is not proof that intuitive eating “worked.” And being plus size is not proof that it didn’t.

      Grab your FREE 5-minute Emotional Eating Check-In Guide here!